Actual rating: 1.5"You couldn’t go back to your mom's house and hide under the covers when you had a baby, pretending you couldn’t hear its cries. That big, fat, demanding baby was your responsibility now. You had to take care of it, for as long as it needed you, even when it wasn’t being cute and giggly, but when it was crying and hungry.I should never have worried about having a demon baby as a result of making love with John in the Underworld: The Underworld itself is a demon baby."What in the what? Pierce? Are you like, high?Ok. There is YA fiction, then there is YA fiction. Let me rephrase. There is YA fiction, which can be read by a wide variety of audiences. The characters are believable, immature at times, but still complex. Their character mature over time. They have an ability to think beyond themselves. They are relatable; even as an adult, we can empathize with their action, speech, and behavior.Then there is what I'd like to call extremely YA fiction. That which is purely intended for a young audience, that which is written purely for entertainment, and with no thoughts or aspirations to a higher area of literature. That's why I did not give this book a 1. It may be immature, the quality of writing is purely aimed towards a very young teenaged readers who may just want something light and fun to read, and a character who acts and speaks like they do. That's why it rated a higher rating than I would originally give a poorly written book. This book is purely intended as entertainment. It makes no aspirations towards anything higher. It is brain floss, a beach reach, brain candy, whatever you like to call it. And thr powerful message sent to young girls? Marry young. Have babies. Hopefully not demon ones. Screw education. Goddamn this book."I was missing...something.Not school, of course, since unlike Kayla, I didn’t have a goal outside the realm of the dead towards which I’d been striving."The plot is so confusing, I don't even know what's going on. Something about crashing ships and killing more Furies and John Hayden dying and Pierce and her group of cronies (including the irrepressibly annoying Alex and Kayla) off to save Isla Huesos frorm the birds.The good: the cover is pretty. I laughed at least once every page.The bad: the laughter resulted from the utter absurdity of it all. The characters, their actions, their speech. The ridiculous clichéd acuity of the sagacious Mr. Liu and Mr. Smith. The tremendous age-old wisdom of adolescence. Even those who have lived for hundreds of years in the Underworld still have an adolescent mindset, it seems. Frank and Henry hasn't aged a day in mental years. They're just as mature as Pierce. Which is rather bad, considering Pierce has the mental maturity and thought process of her own age. She is so very adolescent. Her powers of thought, her skill with words are legendary. As are her action scenes."I cracked my whip, sending it wrapping around my grandmother’s throat multiple times, enfolding her as tightly as a warm, hand-knit scarf...one that a loving grandmother might send to her granddaughter in the mail for her birthday. Then I yanked on it as hard as I could, so it was more like the grip of a boa constrictor than a muffler.'How do you like the scarf I made you, Grandma?' I hissed in her ear."Not only that, her thoughts seem to mainly run along the lines of: God, John is hot. Damn, John is hot. I love him sooooooooooo much but I can't tell him."'Do you like anything in your room?' he asked.You, I wanted to say. I like you. I love you.I don’t know why I couldn’t say it."I love you. I love you. I love you. Pierce repeats that phrase (In triplets! Always in triplets!) so often, I wanted to knock her on the head. Priorities, girlfriend. The Furies and Thanatos are out to kill you, stop fucking mooning over your love for 5 seconds. Tropes and clichés abound. The writing is utterly laughable. The overly dramatic imagery, the battle scenes...every element that will appeal to an easily impressed young audience is here. Battle scene?! Stop! In the name of love"John's gaze met mine and held it. Around us was chaos — the shrieking of the increasingly agitated birds overhead, coupled with the shrieks of the Furies as they battled...and Kayla's sobs.But there was a stillness within John and myself that, now that we were truly back together, no amount of external mayhem could disturb.I love you. I love you. I love you."In the middle of a BATTLEFIELD, for fuck's sake. Thank god this series is done.