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Khanh the Killjoy

30% in---There's a reason why I fucking hate 95% of medieval romances

Desire's Prize - Stephanie Laurens, M.S. Laurens

And this book is no different. Fucking son of a bitch asshat of a love interest. Built like a fucking quarterback, and thinks every woman who's not wet for him at first sight is a fucking "virago." And he's determined to bend Eloise to his will.

“Tis just that she’s too willful—prideful—too used to being her own mistress to settle easily under a man’s hand. Tis too long since she’s lain beneath a man—I plan to remind her of the pleasure before I mention marriage.”
“And after that she’ll meekly agree?”
He answered in a low growl. “Meekly or otherwise, she’ll agree.”

 

He bets Eloise's father for "her care," if he wins a tournament. And her father gives in.

 

Alaun is a knight who is built like a fucking linebacker. He can do everything, including being more agile, more competent than men half his size. He's like a fucking 250-pound ballet dancer with his agility and grace, from the sounds of it.

 

Eloise's father is a creepy son of a bitch. He is intended to be a good guy. He thinks his daughter should remarry, he SEES IN HER EYES Eloise's interest when she LOOKS at Alaun. He thinks he knows best. He sees his daughter making out with Alaun and is l ike, aww that's so cute. FATHER KNOWS BEST? FUCK YOU.

 

Eloise would be my type of heroine. She's smart, competent, she runs her father's estates brilliantly.

 

But then she falls into insta-love with Alaun, and then turns into a fucking idiot. From "I am so competent and I will never fall in love again because my first husband hurt me," she evolves into this:

 Montisfryn was, indeed, utterly unlike other men—he was not, nor had he ever been, interested in marrying her. It was her body he sought—he had made that abundantly clear from the first; he was the first man to approach her with no interest in her hand and the fortune that went with it. It was a novel situation—she wasn’t sure what she thought of it.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU SHOULD THINK OF IT. YOU SHOULD THINK IT'S FUCKING DUMB. GAAAAAAAAAH!