Khanh the Killjoy

Warning: SCARY PICTURES. Do not click on this review if you don't want to be plagued by nightmares. I don't care how old you are. Fear transcends all age barriers.

I'm a supporter of childhood literacy, but I beg you. Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not make the mistake of giving this book to your children. They will never forgive you. Think of all the therapy costs.



When I was a little girl, I was terrified of the dark. I couldn't sleep without my rituals. All blankets had to be tucked in completely around me. All closet doors must be closed. Before bed, the room must be checked to for all odd-looking shadows that might morph into something terrifying when I open my eyes in the middle of the night.

Above all, all toes must be secured, or else something will munch on them.

It didn't help me when I was 12.



I read 5 pages of this book, and I couldn't go on. I don't know if you've seen the drawings, but this book is absolutely fucking terrifying. If you have children, please, please do not give this book to your child. It will scar them for life.

It took me years to summon the courage to open this book again. I was 16. I had just watched It. I couldn't sleep for 2 weeks after for longer than 30 minute increments. I could barely stay awake in class. It was horrible. Surely, after surviving the horrors of Pennywise the Clown, I could...possibly? maybe? take on this book again?

I was wrong.

I got to "THE THING" before shoving it into the back of the closet (IF I CAN'T SEE IT, THE MONSTERS DON'T EXIST) and ran to the living room.



Monsters won't eat you when you're with your parents.

The artist for this book is Stephen Gammell. Thank you, Mr. Gammell. I hope you sleep well, you diabolical crafter of nightmares. Who knows how many children and adults you have scared. Who knows how many hours of terror and sleepless nights this book has wrought. Stephen King has nothing on you.

I'm a grown-ass woman, and tonight, I'm still going to sleep with one eye open.