Khanh the Killjoy

"I see more in you than you’ll ever know. You’re so special, so extraordinary."

LIES! LIES!

This is the worst dystopian book I have read this year. It's not even the so-bad-it's-good type of book, because I feel like I lost IQ points reading this. It is not just some elements, it's the entire book. I hardly know where to start because this book was so terribly written. This is the Advance Review Copy, and I can only pray that the book gets severely edited before it is published.

The plot can only be described as "deranged." The setting and background are generic and nonexistent. The entire book is filled with deus ex fucking machina. Despite the fact that there's a countdown until the day you die, there is no sense of urgency in the book. There is no characterization for the main characters, there is no depth to any of the characters, adults are portrayed as one-dimensional idiots or as severe masterminds who just really, really need a kid to school them on how to do things.

And the villains? They say things like this:

“We’ll catch you, you stupid girl! You will die! Painfully and slowly!”

My main complaint is the plot. It is ludicrously bad. There is no sense in the pacing. A good chunk of the book is devoted to absolutely nothing, while what should have been a core element of the plot was executed and completed in about 15% of the book. The plot meanders. It focuses on irrelevant things, and completely skips over the essential bits.

The Summary: This is the end of the world, as we know it.



And man, is it boring.

Sia has 15 days to live. It's not just her, it's everyone in the "sector," a grayscale planned community surrounded by walls. For some fucking reason, the government had decided that worthless people (those deemed to be noncontributors) are going to be abolished. Specially selected people are going to be airlifted into a blissful compound known as the New World. But for the rest of the unfortunates not good enough to make it? It's death by cyborg.

He told me that those who aren’t chosen will be slaughtered by an army.
A cyborg army.

Sia only has 15 days to live, and so she's pretty limited to what she can do with her time. On her list:

4. Kiss a boy and fall in love.
It sounds so stupid, but I want to meet a boy. I want my first kiss, and I want to fall in love. But nobody can meet someone and fall in love in fifteen days, right?

As Justin Bieber says, "never say never."

Next thing you know, she meets a mysterious boy. Who's a liar with a gun. And he makes her feel all fluttery inside when he winks.

Wow.
My knees actually wobble beneath me. My breath catches in my throat. All for such a small, insignificant gesture.

OH CRAP, RIGHT. We're in a dystopian novel, guys! We should probably move along with the...plot?

Apparently, the boy (whose name is Mace, as in the stuff girls carry around in their purse who spray into would-be-thief/rapist/stalkers' eyes) is interested in her. O_ô He hands her a note, a cryptic note.

I saw something in you. Something more than I see in most. At 9am, meet me where you fell the first time we met. I will explain more when I see you.

Sia breaks her promise to her father and sneaks away to meet Mace, because it's so completely safe to meet a strange gun-toting guy who lies about his name all alone, if he happens to be cute.

It turns out that, ah ha! Mace isn't just interested in Sia for her body! He wants something from Sia, Mace thinks she's capable of helping his Secret Army. Sia is just fucking offended because he's not interested in her.

I thought he liked me. I thought he’d asked me to meet him because he liked me and wanted to get to know me. But now it seems as though I’m only here because he wants me to fight with some group he’s involved in.

Apparently, the people in their sector aren't going to take the cyborg invasion lying down! They're going to start an army (with 24 people. Yes, I'm dead serious.). This grand army is going to train, they're going to work out, they're going to get into fantastic physical shape in order to BEAT THE CYBORGS!!!!!!!

Naturally, there's not a whole lot of time left! The cyborg army is going to invade and tear them apart in less than 2 weeks!!! They have to make excellent use of every moment of their time to prepare themselves for the invasion. They have to do things like...visit a flower field. Wait, what?

The land is made up of only lush, green grass and red, yellow, and white flowers.
We stay on the hill for hours, enjoying the fresh air and staring at the beautiful landscape.

Let's try this again. Time is of the essence, so they must...have a romantic swim in the lake. Um.

Mace holds my arm and spins me around so that we are face-to-face. My hands are still looped around his neck, my fingers brushing against the bottom of his hair. We’re inches apart.

NEVER MIND. They have to learn how to be deadly killers! Yes, that's it!

“What are you trying to do?” Cass says. “Kill her with kisses?”

Amidst all this snuggling, embracing, and kissing, Sia is actually trying to save the world. You see, she met someone, a girl named Lilly. Lilly was originally picked to go to the New World, but she refuses. Why?

“Because it’s an evil place, run by evil people,” she spits.

It's evil. Not sure why the New World is evil, but you know, we just have to take the random-ass word of a random-ass stranger in order for something to be true.

Since it is so hard to be selected, Sia must surely have so much trouble infiltrating the New World.

I clear my throat. “My name is Lilly Tanner,” I say. “There has been a mistake. My family is in the New World, and I’ve been left behind in the sector.” Lilly’s eyes fill up and I look away from her.
“Oh you poor, poor dear!” The cheery voice returns, startling me. “You must be terrified, all alone in that place. Well, don’t you worry for one second, I will send out an aircraft to collect you."

Maybe not.

There's a secret place in the secret New World where all the secrets are held. It must be so hard to find the Chamber of Secrets (so sorry, Harry Potter).

I find a small separate room, deep in the lab, where the cyborgs are tested. Right where Finn said it would be. The door is locked: Restricted Access printed in bold type and underlined on the door.

Or not.

Will Sia be able to defeat the bad guys, the father and son duo of...

“I’m Cain, Damien’s son.”

No points for originality in naming.

Will Sia be able to stop cat-fighting with the "tough" bitch in time to save the world?

Cass snarls and clears the distance between us in two quick steps. I duck as she lashes out at my face and my hands connect with her middle. I push her backward, but she doesn’t go far. Her face is red and she’s panting. Her hands whip out for my face again and I jump to the side. She screeches with frustration.

The Background of the Setting: Generalized nonspecific dystopian nonsense. The setting is initially lazily built, told through an internalized story.

I think about what they’ll teach in history classes in the New World when all of this is over. I’m guessing they’ll start where we do—climate change and the reduction of the population and extinction of most of the world’s species. Then they’ll discuss how the people were spread out on what was left of the planet. And then how the sectors came about, to round everyone up and create communities where people could stay together, stay safe.

The thing is that it just doesn't make any fucking sense. That is the limit of this book's backstory. Generalized war, disasters, blah blah blah. We don't know how many people are left in the world. We don't know how many sectors there are (and surely there must be so many since there are only 416 people in Sia's sector). The past is poorly built, the government completely unexplained, the system of the "Sectors" is merely limited to the fact that walls were built to protect people (or to keep people from getting out. Dun dun DUUUUUUUUN!). Why would people accept this?! How did people react?! How did this all happen in the first place in, presumably, 'Murica?! Wars? Tell me more. Climate catastrophes? Bullshit, unless this is in year 3000, and we don't know what the fuck year this is. This book is so utterly vague.

The Book's Current Setting: Clumsily built and full of holes. It doesn't make any sense. For one thing, it was mentioned that the population was decimated, ok. So where's all the food coming from? And why are there packaged cereal? Why are there snack bars? Where's all this very 21st century junk food coming from if there aren't many left to create them? Why, if there is such a food shortage, are we not devoting ourselves to farming instead of manufacturing processed food-like-things?

Why, if there's a food shortage and the world is ending in 15 days, are there STILL FOOD in the food store? Let me tell you something about human psychology, people freak the fuck out when something major happens. They stock up on food. They riot. They will kill each other for the last can of beans on the shelves. When the world is going to end in 15 days and people are rioting for food, I don't expect there to be still food on the shelves. Specifically, I don't expect Sia to be able to go around grabbing stuff and able to fill an entire fucking shopping cart in a largely-empty food warehouse.

I run up and down the aisles, grabbing at anything, hardly glancing at what I am picking up. The shopping cart gets heavier and harder to push and I decide I’m done.

And especially not when two people were fighting over a box of cereal in the next aisle when there are better pickings elsewhere.

Where are all the fucking riots? You remember that picture I posted up above? Of the gray planned urban development? That's it. The community is THAT nice and calm. When there's going to be a fucking death call in your community, you bet your ass people are going to freak the fuck out. There are no mentions of people besides, you know, when they actually need to be there for the one sole riot. The book is all Sia, Sia, Sia. The community, the people, how they are reacting to all this, is hardly worth the breath, and they are not mentioned at all. There is no realism in this book's community and psychology.

Why is the government (what government?) so insistent upon killing people off when the entire fucking world has been decimated?

The authorities murdered many of the citizens in the walled sectors, cutting the population down even more.

It's crazy! And the book actually SAYS it's crazy, but then there's just no explanation for it, so that rather defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

But numbers aren’t their concern—quality is. The New World wants to start afresh: rebuild the world and do it better. They want to start again, take control, and make this world the very best that it can be.

Not even the New World makes sense. They want useful people, productive people. People like...musicians.

"We were chosen,” she says, like it’s nothing. It means a lot to be chosen. It means you’re worth something. “My mom and dad are musicians. They’re really talented. My two younger sisters play, too.”

With all due respect to musicians out there, sorry, but you guys are really useless when it comes to rebuilding a new world. This New World needs useful people, valuable people like scientists, engineers. Why the fuck did the New World choose MUSICIANS over DOCTORS?

Sia: No personality, no realism, no development. Sia never felt like a real character. Her development is nonexistent because she's able to pull unicorns and rainbows out of her ass any time she needs to. Which is to say, Sia is capable of nothing initially, but she becomes instantly perfect when the situation calls for it. Sia has never fought a day in her life, but the first day of training, she automatically proves herself a Mary Sue when she kicks the tough girl's ass.

I’m pitted against Cass. She’s fierce and never slows. I jump left and right, dodge her, and avoid what would have been some pretty nasty blows. I even get one in myself, winding her. I try not to smile when she doubles over, clutching her stomach.

Sia is hated by evil Cass for no reason at all that I can see except to elicit sympathy for poor, sweet Sia.Sia has no emotion, even when her mother dies at the beginning of the story. Sia tells us that she screamed endlessly for her. That's it. No emotion, no pain, no true sense of grief.

Whenever Sia is in trouble, magical dragons and rainbows will appear to save her ass. If there is a riot, a boy will appear to save her.

I nod. “Thanks. For helping me, I mean. I don’t know what would have happened to me if you hadn’t been there.”

Even out of nowhere, in the strange New World, ANOTHER boy appears out of thin air to rescue her. Why? She's special. Amazing.

He eases me back, feels for my face in the dark again, and brushes tangled hair out of my eyes. His touch is so gentle, so careful. “Would you like to go home instead?” he whispers.

Deus ex fucking machina is the plot of this book.